Life....or something I want it to be

I lost the baby back in October.....left my husband in december (or the town we lived in and he chose not to come with) and now I miss him terribly and I have a huge gaping hole in my heart and so much has happened. I cry myself to sleep at night. I moved to better my family and though in some ways it did, in others it didnt. I realize where WE both went wrong and we can fix it...but he doesn't want to live with me just yet. I don't think I have ever felt so hopeless....or helpless.... Lord please give me strength.